My Cart



  1. Customer and client inquiries
    Refer to my FAQ page, sizing charts, and/or Refunds & Returns pages first. Questions whose answers were on-site will be ignored.

  2. Brand deal proposals
    • Read my origin story and watch my videos to determine if I'm a good fit for your brand. Don't just look at my subscriber count and view stats.
    • To avoid awkwardness, check if I've roasted you.
    • If your proposal has grammatical errors or misspellings, then I'll probably humiliate you publicly, so proofread before you submit.

  3. Media interview requests
    • Check my press kit for an overview of my operation and media coverage.
    • I conduct interviews via e-mail so that I have a written transcript and can take breaks if I get bored. In that vein, I eschew podcasts because answering "why do you dislike CrossFit?" and other mundane questions live is mind-numbing. If I wanted an exercise in staying awake, I'd go to work.


  1. Multi-channel network offers
    YouTube takes 50% of my ad revenue; I don't need more grubby hands on my money.

  2. Weight lifting questions
    I don't have time for freeloaders, so you'll have to pay for coaching services.

  3. Pleas for free cameos, promotion, or legal services
    Top tier costs top dollar. Learn the value of money.

  4. Insults and threats
    If I triggered you enough to rage at me, then I already beat you.

  5. Chit chat
    If you need a friend, then get a dog.

  6. Topic suggestions
    Tag or DM me on social media so mods can screen the boring videos and broken links.